Acceptance Is The Key

Understanding Acceptance

Life is imperfect, and no one can escape the adversity, disappointment, or suffering that comes with being human. Despite this, most of us resist this fact by expending a lot of energy fighting against what we can’t control, causing us to experience more mental anguish. This non-acceptance has negative consequences such as amplified distress, wasted effort, and lost opportunities.

However, there is another approach we can take, and that is acceptance. Acceptance means embracing life’s difficulties with clarity and without deluded positive thinking. It involves relaxing into realities that cannot or should not be changed and releasing the need to protest or fix them. Acceptance enables us to adapt and adjust, grieve what we have lost, and then direct our energy towards what we can influence.

One common misconception is that acceptance means approval, resignation, or inaction. However, practicing radical acceptance can reduce suffering by ending the futile battle with reality. It requires adopting mindful allowing, giving up destructive resistance, and learning alternative coping behaviors. By doing this, we free up the energy we once wasted on trying to bend life to our will and instead use it to engage in meaningful goals. This helps us attain equanimity.

So what does it mean to accept reality instead of fighting it? Acceptance is an active process of seeing things clearly as they are in the present moment. We let things be as they are without trying to manipulate or inhibit them because we realize that protesting or altering immutable realities only wastes our energy and causes us more pain.

Acceptance goes hand-in-hand with mindfulness — the ability to pay attention to experiences in a nonjudgmental way. With mindfulness, we note thoughts, emotions, and sensations without believing in them or taking them all so personally. We step back from the contents of consciousness and gain perspective. This helps interrupt reflexive resistance habits developed over a lifetime of avoiding discomfort. Now instead of habitually panicking, criticizing ourselves, or becoming overwhelmed when we note psychological discomfort or negative situations, we simply acknowledge this is what is arising presently. It’s seeing reality rather than ignoring it or wishing…